The Ever Beautiful Unknown

God,
You have given me everything I am. You made me... You are so mysterious. You are the creator of everything. Sound You made. Emotion and feeling You made. Desire, You made.I have so many questions for You and yet I can't hear your voice with my ears like I hear Your music. I cna't hear you like I hear my mother telling me that she loves me... Why? I give my life to You God. I surender everything daily for You. Why can't I hear You? I know it takes faith but at some point just cause and effect wear me down Lord. We humans call it blind faith. It's not blind, because I see Your proof in everyday life. You are far too beautiful and magesttic to not show Your glory through nature and the universe. I am simply tired God. I want to hear Your voice, loud and clear.. I want to know you so well Lord... I long for You and want to be near You. You are indescribable. I feel so distracted and pulled away from You... Why? I don't run from Your or Your presence. I'm not sitting still... I'm actively seeking You God... Why do I not feel like I'm making any progress in knowing You? I don't think I know You any better than I did when I gave You my life... Why? Why did You give me the passions and desires that I have? I have a craving to go into space and just be amongst Your glory. Your beautiful masterpiece. I don't dare pass over ourselves but Louie Giglio has shown me just how big and amazing You are... You are HUGE and FEROCIOUS! You breathe stars out... like breath! I want to know You and thaat is the most beautiful way of knowing Your creation. I can know Your creation all I want but that still doesn't let me know You any better... Why God? I feel so much right now... I just want to let it all out right now! I can't hold back how beautiful I see Your creation as right now! Why can't I remember this during my trials God?! Why?! I feel so depressed God because my mind is set in the now and in the present... I want to be spiritually minded so thatI can live with You. Why did You give me this passion to be out there instead of here? Why did You give me a mind that thinks about human interaction with history and the future and the economy and how everything affectcs everything else. Why did You give me so much? A mind to think about thinking about its self? Why do You love us so much? Why? Why can't I know all of this and still not be at peace with who I am in You? I rely completely on You... You give me everything I need to do Your will... Why do I want to strive for perfection even know I can't obtain it? I have a feeling of passion for You so much more when I have music playing God, Why? Why did You link my passion for You with music? With knowing how large and beautiful the universe is? God I love You. Protect me from Satan, Protect my family from Satan. Bring my brothers to You God. I want them to know You... I know You do. Give me the opportunities to show them what You are... Bring all that I know to You... Be the shining light that I follow God. I want to reflect Your light to all of those around me. I love You.
Pilgrim